Annotation
This is the second book in the “Self-help guide for smart drug addicts” series. The series consists of three books. The first book is about the nature of drug addiction and the psychology of patients. The second is about how to treat, and the third is lessons for home treatment.
This book provides detailed instructions on how to get a patient to treat you. Voluntary-compulsory, using pressure and leverage. We will explain to you specifically what to do, what to say, how to respond to any manipulation by the patient. Examples of all the dialogues that take place between a drug addict denying the disease and his family are given. The book is written from the words of a psychiatrist with 30 years of experience, Maxim Malyavin.
And let us remind you. We are a volunteer project. Therefore, if you do not have money, but need treatment, then write to the mail and we will send you free electronic versions of the books. Mail – yuliabasharova@hotmail.com.
Please don’t be shy about emailing for free books! It’s a deadly disease and there’s no need to be shy.
Why it is Absolutely Necessary to Read the First Book
To cure drug addiction, you need to understand the subject very well and be able to recognize the addict’s self-deception. Moreover, this concerns not only the patients themselves, but also their relatives.
Some people think that the first book is for the patients themselves, and the second is for relatives. And there is no need to read two books.
No, absolutely not! It doesn’t work that way.
The book is not just written for informational purposes, it is psychotherapy in written form. The patient must read the sections for relatives in order to get to know himself, to feel ashamed, to turn on critical thinking.
And relatives need to know all the details about drug addicts in order to treat them correctly during treatment and not make mistakes.
First contains extremely important information, 96 chapters, without which you simply will not be able to come to an agreement with the patient.
Part I. Treatment of Drug Addiction
Important! Do not rush to put our advice into practice until you have finished reading the book. Drug addicts are very cunning and any gap in your knowledge will lead to a fiasco. And it will be much more difficult to start again after the drug addict can insist on his own and make a fool out of you.
Therefore, do not rush. Haste is needed when catching fleas. And here we need a result.
Five Unforgivable Mistakes of Parents of Drug Addicts
Dear parents of drug addicts! If your child is on drugs, remember very well what you absolutely must not do. Parents of drug addicts are forbidden to think that they know everything better than specialists!
You don’t know, believe me. If you did, your addict would have quit as soon as he started using. But if you couldn’t stop him, don’t argue.
What we will describe below is taboo and it is in your interests to learn it by heart, like the Lord’s Prayer, otherwise you will not see peace, as your ears. And it is good if we are talking about the loss of only peace.
Drug addicts are malicious and dangerous. They are capable of ruining the lives of many people within a 10 km radius, and even taking them away, including life youngest children…
Why is it that parents most often take the wrong tactic?
Well, firstly, because few parents realize that a drug addict is an extremely sick person and it is absurd to expect common sense from him.
Secondly, parents tend to blame themselves for this state of affairs, which, in most cases, is also the result of a misunderstanding of the nature of drug addiction.
Self-blame is expressed differently by everyone. Some people begin to pamper the addict, as if making amends for the invisible guilt, while others react so painfully to this internal awareness that they turn on psychological defense and simply “stop noticing” the use.
Thirdly, many parents who find themselves in such a situation start looking for solutions. And in their search for information, the first thing they come across is the common opinion that the Internet is full of: the drug addict must want to quit himself!
We don’t even want to talk about it for the hundredth time how absurd this statement is, not supported by any scientific arguments or textbooks.
But this opinion is quite CONVENIENT for lay doctors, who thanks to it have much greater chances for a positive treatment result. And if in this case the result is negative, you can always say: “Well, that means he didn’t really want…”
That is, this statement is based not on science, which claims that drug addiction is a reflex (and as we know, a strong reflex pulls the entire psyche), but on psychological GUESSES.
And psychology, as a teaching, is based more on philosophy than on physiology. And psychological guesses can be twisted in any direction convenient for you. Just like a drawbar, wherever you turn it, that’s where it goes!
But man is not God, unfortunately, and for now, all his actions, thinking and habits have the same nature as the animal world – physiological. Instincts rule!
And trying to prove that man is the most intelligent creature, which is above physiology… This is possible, of course, to show off.
But drug addiction is a disease, and a rapidly progressing disease at that. Therefore, before believing this statement, consult textbooks that describe the nature of drug addiction.
In fact, a drug addict who wanted to do it himself is a rare phenomenon that occurs only after many years of use, loss of health, and a normal environment.
The drug addict loses almost everything and ONLY THEN it begins to dawn on him that THIS IS THE RESULT of drug use. And this is not the result of some kind of philosophical understanding and maturation, it has a physiological explanation: the reflex loses its strength if a person performed many actions of the usual kind, but as a result received negative emotions.
In the case of drug addiction, this process is very long, since the initial urge to use overrides any negative feelings, since the sensations in the body from the drug are better than all natural sensations.
A drug addict does not realize for ten or fifteen years that he is a drug addict. And this is a completely natural process, mixed with ordinary instincts, but not at all with his depravity and desire to “get high”.
Now let’s look at what parents of a drug addict should not do.
- You can’t keep silent and call things by their wrong names
Very often parents, knowing full well that their child uses amphetamine or something else of the hard type, are simply embarrassed to talk about it out loud and bashfully say: “He smoked weed again, you party animal.”
What kind of a party animal is this? He’s a drug addict! A sniffer! And that’s exactly what he should be called.
And what kind of grass is it if you clearly see that the child is not eating, not sleeping and is doing some strange things?
By softening things up, you won’t help him. You’ll only be doing him a “disservice” and helping him deceive himself, which means you’ll just hurt him.
Psychological defenses can be broken, but only if you constantly, without attacks and aggression, tell the person how his actions look from the outside and what it’s all called.
There is no other way and he himself may simply not live to realize that he is a drug addict.
- Don’t sponsor him if he constantly gets into trouble
If your grown-up child periodically takes things to a pawnshop, asks for money on loan and does not pay it back, then stop lending money to him immediately!
This will not help him and will only make the situation worse. The drug addict lives in a fog, so to speak, and while money comes from nowhere, he simply does not realize the consequences of his actions.
Moreover, you don’t have to silently feed him, do his laundry, and pay for utilities, saying, you have to pay anyway…
Be sure to tell him about this and demand active participation in the family’s expenses if he lives in your area.
- Don’t be manipulated if he involves third parties
One drug addict in the house is capable of setting the whole family against each other! He does this completely unconsciously, it must be said, intuitively trying to appear in the best light to everyone.
You don’t need to blame him for this, and even more so – be offended. But you simply must clearly understand that a drug addict = lies + manipulation.
In an attempt to whitewash himself, he may blame his brothers, sisters, grandparents, wife, girlfriend, etc.
He will attack those who most expose his drug addiction and try with all their might to prevent his use.
Therefore, if some relative tells you that the quarrel happened precisely because of drug use, and your drug-addicted child presents a completely different version, in which the motive for the quarrel is completely different – do not believe it!
Don’t believe it, no matter how much you want it, that a harmful mother-in-law or a nasty daughter-in-law actually turns out to be paranoid and troublemakers, and your child is an innocent lamb.
By doing this you will only make things worse for him. As long as there is AT LEAST ONE person in the family who covers for him and is susceptible to manipulation, he will not quit drugs!
- Don’t count on his common sense and willpower
A drug addict is sick, first and foremost. Therefore, reasoning about his behavior and actions from the position of common sense is absurd.
Don’t under any circumstances bring in psychologists’ favorite tricks here, such as “personal boundaries”, “desire to control”, “he’s an adult”, “codependency”, etc.
This has absolutely nothing to do with your situation!
Your child is sick, just as if he had contracted something else that was incompatible with life.
He is not his own master now and is not an adult at all; chemistry is stronger than personality and reason.
And to overcome this disease, drugs alone are not enough. Drug addiction is treated by the right attitude of those around you, first of all.
And this correct attitude has nothing to do with pseudo-pity. You must be cold-blooded and not forget for a second that all his meanness, lies, manipulations are part of the disease, its direct symptoms.
Really, you wouldn’t be offended by a schizophrenic if he insults and curses you? The same is true here. Resentment and the decision to kick out the “scoundrel” are not the best.
Also, do not believe those who claim that a drug addict must reach the “bottom” himself. They say that he will then push off from it and swim out.
This is not so, believe me. Only a few emerge, but tens of thousands go to the grave.
- Don’t waste time and don’t wait for drug addiction to “go away on its own”. Drug addiction is a disease that only progresses. It has no regression, not for a second.
Even if your child periodically comes to his senses, gets a job, and then breaks down, then know that he was sick even in those moments when he behaved correctly.
Drug addiction is not a whim and it does not go away with age!
Don’t rely on the child growing up and realizes. Also, don’t rely on the fact that his wife or girlfriend will pull him out of the hole and “take him in hand.”
Take pity on this girl, firstly, and secondly, on your future grandchildren, who will be unhappy if they are born because their father is a drug addict.
In general, don’t wait. Treatment should have started YESTERDAY.
Are Parents to Blame for their Child’s Drug Addiction? What do Teenagers Know About Drug Addiction from Us?
In general, it is an unhealthy phenomenon when parents begin to be blamed for all sins.
If we use common sense, it becomes obvious that the role of parents in a child’s drug addiction is generally insignificant. Neither the upbringing, nor the environment of the child, nor the moral climate in the family matter.
Simple psychologists love to dig in this direction. They say that your child is a drug addict because there were double standards in your family, or overprotection…
A child who grew up in an overprotective environment may well be lucky and not end up in a group where they are allowed to try drugs. One has nothing to do with the other.
It’s a matter of luck, really. But there are fewer and fewer lucky ones every year. The progression of this infection is too great.
It makes no difference what happened in the family! What matters is what happens in society as a whole.
No, of course, if we take as an example a family of mountaineers who live far from civilization, then only the family matters there. Because that is their entire society. Well, and also sheep and cows.
And when we are talking about a child who grew up in a city or village, where he watches TV, communicates with friends, neighbors, then what kind of parents can we talk about? Don’t take on too much.
Yes, there is guilt in the fact that the parents drank in front of the child and thereby taught him that relaxing is normal. But the whole world does this!
And if you look for guilt here, you can run into the opposite effect. An alcoholic whose family were convinced teetotalers will say: but I started drinking because they were black sheep! I didn’t want to be like them.
If you want, and psychologists have this desire, you can find fault with your parents in anything! No matter how diligent they are. But what’s the point? If only it could cure drug addiction…
Parents are also to blame for not nipping drug addiction in the bud as soon as it began. But again, is there any guilt here? What are they to blame for, not being informed? Or for the fact that the effects of amphetamine on the body can go unnoticed for years?
In a word: only those who know about drug addiction and do not try to fight it are guilty. But we hardly know such parents. Everyone fights to the best of their ability.
Whether it was successful or not is not a question for them. They are not drug addiction specialists.
In addition, the child’s worldview is influenced by social attitudes. That is, this is what we, adults, teach them.
For example:
Drug addiction is incurable.
Drug addiction is a chemical dependency.
The drug addict himself must want to be treated.
A drug addict doesn’t quit because he wants a high.
Only strong-willed individuals can quit drugs.
You have to try everything in life!
This small handful of folk wisdom is enough to make a teenager fall head over heels into illness. Let’s analyze these statements.
- Drug addiction is incurable
First, a teenager tries a drug, gets used to it. Decides to quit, fails a couple of times, and immediately realizes: aha, drug addiction is incurable! So, there is no point in quitting.
And he continues in the same spirit with a clear conscience!
- Drug addiction is a chemical dependency.
If you don’t delve into this phrase, it seems that it is about the drug being in the blood. This means that if there is no withdrawal, then there is no chemical dependence.
So, neither amphetamine nor salt are drugs, if you use this logic. There is no physical addiction or withdrawal symptoms from them! So you can continue in the same spirit with a clear conscience.
- The drug addict himself must want to be treated.
Any drug addict thinks that he can quit at any moment. It’s just that his life circumstances now make it much more reasonable to use. It’s all anosognosia. And all these anosognosic drug addicts bring this heresy to the masses. And the masses mindlessly echo. And everyone continues in the same spirit, with a clear conscience.
- A drug addict doesn’t quit because he wants a high.
Yeah, right! Tell that to a system addict and he’ll just smile bitterly. Because he himself doesn’t understand why he can’t quit.
There is no more high! This high lasts for a split minute, if it exists at all. There is only withdrawal if you miss the time for your next dose. And there is relief when the withdrawal symptoms are relieved by the drug.
This “high” can be compared to taking a pill when you have a headache. The headache is gone – that’s the same high a drug addict gets on the system.
But the teenager is sure that drugs are an eternal high! So he sticks his nose in there with curiosity. And continues in the same spirit, with a clear conscience.
- Only strong-willed individuals can quit drugs
If so, then there is no point in even trying to quit! I am not strong-willed! I am weak! I lie down, belly up, and don’t touch me. And I will continue in the same spirit and with a clear conscience.
- You have to try everything in life!
Seriously? Then try poop! Why not? What did poop do to deserve not being on the list — that’s it?
Or, try changing your gender. You haven’t tried sex as a woman yet, have you? Try it! Otherwise, life can’t be called successful.
You can also try jumping from the roof. Some people fly from roofs. You don’t have to miss this opportunity to try flying!
Do you understand now what we teach them ourselves? So, there is no point in blaming the mirror if the whole world has a crooked face.
How to Behave so that a Drug Addict Behaves Peacefully and Does not Cause a Scandal in the House
To prevent a drug addict from making scenes and throwing tantrums at home, you need to follow these steps:
- Don’t remind him about money! Spend your money on him silently. Why do you bother a person with these insignificant problems? Haven’t they taught you that happiness is not in money? Indeed, your commercialism goes beyond all bounds.
- Don’t remind him about the agreements! He is a free man. Who knows what he promised? Well, he forgot. Well, he forgot for the hundredth time. Is this a reason for reproach? Leave the person alone and stop making agreements with him! Handle all the everyday issues yourself. You are an adult, after all.
- Don’t even think of laughing at him when he starts telling mutual friends how he’s building a house. Don’t even think of telling them that your husband is actually building the house with your money. God forbid! Let your husband say what he wants.
- Be sure to pay off the loans he took on time. Don’t distract him with this fuss. Pay carefully so that the collectors don’t come. And if they do come, hold the door tight and don’t let them in!
- Pay your utility bills on time. Because they can turn off the power. And he needs it, he doesn’t sleep well at night.
- Prepare lunch on time. Let it always stand in the refrigerator. At your own expense, of course.
- Clean up on time. Drug addicts are very sensitive to dust and animal hair during withdrawal.
- Wash his clothes on time and give them to him ready and ironed.
- Never tell him: go wash your feet, you stink! How can you? It’s an insult! The person smells like that. It’s not his fault.
- Don’t ask him how things are at work and why he didn’t go there again. It’s none of your business. Mind your own business.
I hope everyone understood that we were joking. But there is a grain of truth in every joke. If you don’t do this, there will be endless scandal and shouting in the house.
Therefore, you have no other choice but treatment him. Otherwise, you will have to kill this scoundrel and go to jail. Do you need it?
What Should Relatives of a Drug Addict be Prepared for?
You should know that drug addiction has an ugly face.
It is cruel, merciless, it will insult you with the worst words, it will convince you of your madness, it will spit on all the good that you try to do and will turn it over in the light of condemnation of you…
But if you’ve taken on a task, don’t say you can’t handle it. If you’ve started treatment and taken even one step, there’s no turning back! You’ll do harm. And you’ll confuse the sick person completely.
You must strictly follow the instructions and react quickly. Without delay. And act exactly as described in the chapters devoted to specific actions.
The main thing you have to understand, as clearly as possible, is the “logic” of a drug addict. Oddly enough, they have it and it is quite easy to predict, despite its absurdity.
After you have fully studied this book, you will be able, like Vanga, to predict their further train of thought.
It is so simple and unpretentious that it is even boring. Don’t be offended, gentlemen drug addicts, reading these lines. You thought that you had an expanded consciousness and that you were an original thinker? We know. But you were wrong. Your thoughts have long been stolen by other drug addicts.
All drug addicts in the world reason the same way! And not just reason, but speak the same phrases! Do you know why? Because it is not the mind that speaks, but the disease.
But illness is illness. You understand that an Eskimo’s runny nose and an Englishman’s runny nose are not much different. The same is with drug addiction. If the symptom of ARI is a runny nose, then with drug addiction – this is typical thinking, behavior and standard phrases.
Relatives must learn seven rules:
- A drug addict is the same person as everyone else, he just got into trouble, no matter how much he denies it. And he needs help. This is not a bastard, a thief or a scoundrel, but your sick son or husband. Who was once good. But the disease temporarily disfigured his personality. And you will see his former self only when you cure him.
- A drug addict lies as soon as he opens his mouth and his words should be divided by ten. Or better yet, by twenty.
- Drug addiction cannot be cured peacefully and without resistance. You will have to become the patient’s enemy for a while. Don’t dream of gratitude! On the contrary, at first they will pour a bucket of dirt on you and curse, threaten and even try to raise their hands.
- The drug addict is a master of manipulation. And he will try to turn the whole world against you. Therefore, you must prevent this option and prepare the “rear”. The electorate must be on your side BEFORE you start treating.
- Don’t give in, no matter how scared you are to hear curses and wishes to die. Don’t believe it when a drug addict shouts that if this is the case, then out of spite he will be a drug addict for the rest of his life! He doesn’t know what he is doing and saying. Treat it as white noise.
- The addict must believe that you are determined and ready to take extreme measures! If he understands that you are just scaring him, but in fact you are afraid lose his favor, then you will not cure him.
- If a drug addict can deceive you and “push” you in at least one episode, then this music will last forever. And in the end, you will lose the war with the disease. It will take away your relative.
Well, are you ready? Then let’s fight!
Apology of the Absurd or Once Again About the Laws
Nowadays it is very difficult to protect yourself from a drug addict, because he has all the rights. As a free person.
And you will encounter this disgrace when you start forcing a drug addict to quit.
For example, if you lock him out of the house, he may scream out the window and call the police for help. They will come and you will have to release the prisoner.
Therefore, you need to establish contact with the local police officer in advance to avoid such a turn of events. In advance!
The same applies to registration in hospital. Doctors are reluctant to register, as it is an extra burden. Why do they need it?
And it often happens that doctors say: oh, well, don’t exaggerate the problem. He’s still young, he’s just messing around! He’ll understand everything himself. You’ll understand, right? And the addict nods his head happily.
And then he dies of an overdose. Or goes to prison for selling “bookmarks”. And then you understand: something is wrong here…
So, you need to agree with the narcologist in advance. And with the local psychiatrist. This is simply a necessary step. Otherwise, you will face big surprises when you try to contact them.
These people will justify the drug addict and take all the levers of control out of your hands. In one fell swoop! Only because they don’t want to take on the extra medical history and manage it.
There are still honest doctors, of course. But it’s a matter of luck and you shouldn’t rely on it. You’re more likely to be very unlucky than vice versa.
In general, parents, register every drug addict! Let the state see that there are so many of them that there are not enough beds and doctors in drug treatment centers. And maybe then the “top” will think about it?
And while you are trying to treat it under the table, the state thinks that everything is fine. It doesn’t give a damn while you suffer and obediently bury your loved ones.
Be conscious, people! Stop giving your children and spouses to the drug mafia.
Setting Priorities Correctly
In order for drug addiction treatment to be successful, you must know the exact answers to such questions. They must bounce off your teeth.
If you are woken up at night, you must give a clear and reasonable answer! Without this understanding, everything will perish.
- For what purpose am I treating my son (husband)?
2.What happens if the treatment doesn’t help?
3.What will I do next with an active drug addict in the house?
Which answers do not apply?
- I make this so that he is healthy and happy.
- I will try other options.
- I don’t know, let’s see his behavior.
What answers, and most importantly, conviction in these answers, are your key to success?
- I am treating him because I feel very uncomfortable and it is hard to live next to him. He does not give me peace, he has brought the family to poverty and I am afraid of him. I am afraid that he will kill me someday or that our home will be taken away by collectors.
- If this treatment does not help, I will take all the certificates, evidence of his drug addiction and go to court to demand free compulsory treatment. Then he will be locked up for a year and I will be able to rest at least a little. And I will do this every time he breaks down and starts to poison my life again. I will rid myself and the world of this criminal.
- I will not live with an active drug addict in the house for a minute. If he dares to show up at the house drunk, I will call the police. And I will tell them that he threatened me, that he threw a knife at me, even if this did not happen. Also, this cannot happen for the reason that I ALREADY evicted him from the housing and he no longer has the right to live here, unless I myself want it. And he has only one way out – to voluntarily go to a drug addiction hospital if he has nowhere to spend the night. I will take him to the hospital, so be it. And I will start collecting certificates for the court, for compulsory treatment.
Of course, he is sick. You feel sorry for him. But keep your pity in mind. And he needs to be shown what we have told you. This is the true, not the crooked mirror, which reflects to him the reality that he does not see.
Drug addiction needs not only to be treated, it needs to be stopped!
Where Does the Freedom of Action of a Drug Addict End?
Throw out of your head the idea that every person has the right to choose. It does not apply to our case.
Irina Pyatnitskaya, in her monograph, said this: “Western doctors contradict themselves when they talk about drug addicts’ freedom of choice. If we are talking about a person’s freedom of choice, then the drug addict’s choice ends where it conflicts with the choice of those around him.”
That’s right. Why should he have rights and his family doesn’t? Why should law-abiding citizens move over and keep quiet when a drug addict exercises his right to choose to rob, cause trouble, steal things from the house?
Why should we be afraid of contracting Hepatitis and HIV when a drug addict returns from a drug den to a home and uses shared utensils?
Why should we tolerate fits of aggression in the house when the drug addict is on withdrawal?
Agree, these are some kind of double standards.
Therefore, freedom of choice is wonderful. But everyone has this right! And the family of a drug addict has the right to peace, first of all.
And if the state has taken away the ability of families of drug addicts to protect themselves by calling doctors and forcibly treating, this does not mean that we should put up with this state of affairs and follow the patient’s lead.
Who Should Treat Whom? Who is Responsible for the Result? Are There Any Guarantees for the Treatment of Such Patients?
We always tell families of drug addicts this: 10% depends on us, 10% on the patient, and 80% on your behavior and participation in treatment.
We do not say this in order to shift responsibility from ourselves, as some people who are not knowledgeable about the specifics of drug addiction treatment think.
This is a real distribution of responsibility. This is true. Without the right attitude of relatives – we are weak!
And we are honestly warning you about this.
If you are not ready to cooperate and unquestioningly follow all our recommendations, are not ready to read and learn everything about this disease, you better look for other specialists.
We don’t know how to treat differently. Maybe someone else can. Look for it.
But we want results. We are not at all interested in spoiling the statistics of reviews with relapses. If you are going to treat a drug addict, then you need a complete remission. Otherwise, there is no point in even starting.
Complete remission can be considered three years after drug withdrawal. And you understand that we cannot control the patient for such a period with the help of a book. As soon as he as soon as he finishes his book lessons and comes out of isolation, he gets into his micro-society. And it depends only on family whether there will be a relapse.
If you follow all our recommendations diligently, literally word for word, then you will succeed. If you start reinventing the wheel or relax control during these three critical years, then blame yourself.
Unfortunately, we can only give a start to recovery. We can give an attitude towards recovery. We can encourage the desire to live soberly. We can “erase” dynamic stereotypes of thinking, the so-called tunnel thinking or thinking narrowed to a bottle, as much as possible.
But we can’t do anything else! Because the period of full recovery from this disease is too long.
It depends on the physiology of the person. Drug addiction is a conditioned reflex. A skill. And for this skill to disappear into oblivion, the body needs to not use it for three years.
And not just not to use drugs, but also to think differently. And only the patient’s family can do all this.
Only the patient’s family can, after a year and a half of sobriety, abruptly cut the patient off when he starts joking about drugs. This is important! We cannot see or know all this.
We cannot give him “crutches” in the form of a threat to deprive him of parental rights in case of a breakdown. Only you can do this. Without “crutches” the drug addict will fall to the ground, he will be weak for three years.
And such cruel at first glance “crutches” are a blessing for him, in fact. It is humane. It will save his life.
Only family can break his habitual pattern of behavior: I go for a walk when I want, and then I come home and take food from the refrigerator. And then I go for a walk again.
Only you can put a lock on the refrigerator and make him take responsibility for his life. Count money, pay for utilities. Without this responsibility, the addict will immediately turn to the old path. Well, maybe not immediately, but a year after treatment for sure.
What about guarantees… Many people ask if we can provide a guarantee for treatment? We have only one answer to this: can you give us a guarantee that you will unconditionally fulfill all our demands? If yes, then we can give a guarantee.
And don’t say later that we deceived you. No, you deceived us. You agreed to our conditions when you read the book. And in the end, you set us up and ruined the recovery statistics.
In the process of work, you got lazy. You decided that if your addict agreed to isolation and writes homework, then you don’t need to bother. Let him work on his own. Who cares what I read in the book! I have no time, I work to support the addict! The same logic, right?
In the end, you know nothing about the disease, because you read inattentively, do ridiculous things, and knock the “medicines” that we give the addict out of his hands.
How can he recover then? You take the medications away from him, understand? Without your control, without checking the homework, without exposing his self-deception, our book is just a pile of useless waste paper.
What is the “Work” of Relatives During Treatment? List of Necessary Actions
This is a must! This list is a guarantee of successful healing. Why it works will come to you when you read this section to the end. Then it will become obvious.
At first glance, you might decide that this is some kind of nonsense, that there is no reason for it, and that it can discourage any desire to be treated.
There is a reason, believe me, and we will prove it to you later.
In the meantime, here is a list of necessary actions:
- Before starting treatment for a drug addict, cure yourself. That is, see a psychiatrist and start taking antidepressants if there is a need for it. And everyone who has spent at least a couple of years in a house with a madman has it.
Without this, you will not be able to think calmly and logically, you will make mistakes and harm the treatment. Do not think that antidepressants are needed only for serious mental illnesses.
If you have any trauma or obsessive syndrome, they will also help. They work to align your thinking, to make you think with your mind, and not by inertia, subconsciously.
- Study this book completely Without knowledge, don’t start! These are not toys. This is work with a mentally ill person. A terminally ill person. And here you can do harm.
- Work with your entire family and reach a unified decision to treat. If someone in the family continues to cover for the drug addict, can provide him with shelter and food, then the treatment will go down the drain.
By any means necessary, make sure that everyone acts as a united front. And they must also study everything.
- Keep in mind that all actions, evil words and mean deeds of your relative are just manifestations of the disease. Feel sorry for him and treat him indulgently. Do not be offended. But in your mind!
In fact, give him a reaction as if he were healthy. And ask questions as if he were healthy. Mirror his actions – that’s right! You are his eyes and ears, with the help of which he will be able to see and hear himself.
- Force the addict to get treatment! We will tell you in detail how in this book below. Don’t wait until he wants to. Force and only force. Voluntarily-compulsorily, with the help of pressure levers.
- Twist all the handles on the windows and balconies if you are going to be treated in home isolation. Remove the door from his room so that you can hear what is happening in the room and he cannot close it from the other side. Remove the locks from the bathroom, toilet.
7.Prepare the phone numbers of your local police officer, district police department, and district psychiatric hospital in advance.
- Take away the addict’s mobile phone and throw it away along with the card, after reading all the correspondence and writing down the contacts of co-users.
You can sell it to a pawnshop if the device is expensive. But don’t give him the same device after the treatment!
This is a trigger! And a great temptation to call old contacts. Do not save it under any circumstances! Greed at this point can play a very cruel joke on you.
- Make the addict delete all social media pages in front of you, along with all his friends. Make him do it using the levers we will describe in another chapter.
- Stop drinking for the duration of the patient’s treatment. Completely. This is important. In order not to tease the patient, not to awaken his cravings and not to give him a means of manipulation: you can’t stop drinking! I can’t stop using drugs either.
- Publicity of drug addiction! You must inform about your relative’s drug addiction to as many people as possible from whom he hid this fact. To people who are important to him.
To the boss, colleagues, children, etc. Simply put, to shame him. It works like a mirror. Let him justify himself and see how he is treated. This is important!
12.Work with co-users. You need to stir up the snake pit. Find their parents’ contacts, call them and tell them about their children’s drug addiction.
Also, tell these people that if drug addicts approach your child, you will write to the police and report that they are selling drugs. And let the police deal with them. Let them prove that this is not so.
This will “turn on” paranoia in the drug circle and they will avoid your child. Plus, you will notify parents that their children are walking on the edge of a cliff. And, perhaps, by doing so, you will save their lives.
Be sure to give these people a link to our book or share it with them for free if you have an electronic version, or give them our email where they can request the book for free. There is no point in notifying without giving them the tools to fight. No need to be angry with them. They are the same confused and unhappy moms and dads.
- Instant reactions to inadequate patient behavior. Stole money? Call the police and file a report. Is he causing trouble? Call the police and file a report. Came home with hallucinations? Call the psychiatric team.
- Registration drug addict in hospital. This action is a “crutch”. And you need to register exactly like this, openly. Say it like this: I need a certificate in hand, in case you relapse.
If you break down, I will go to court and organize free compulsory treatment, or deprive you of parental rights, or deprive you of your job, informing your superiors of your breakdown, or deprive you of your driver’s license, etc.
A certificate and evidence of drug addiction are your best “weapon” against relapse. Including all your police statements, based on the statements. You must understand that, apart from official registration, all other evidence is quite controversial from a legal point of view and may not work in court.
- Deprivation of all rights to housing. If possible, you need to deregister the drug addict from the housing. And evict him from the housing that you gave him, for example. Take away his keys and deregister him.
If it is impossible by law, we need to think about how to do it through the court. This is super important! This will save his life! A drug addict should not have any rights for about 3 years.
- Deprivation of driving license, deprivation of car, if you gave it to him as a gift.
- Show through your actions your rejection of drug addiction and disgust in connection with it.
This is important! That is, do not sleep in the same bed (no sex!), do not eat from the same dishes, provide a personal towel and make sure that he does not touch other linens, constantly reproach him for being afraid of infection.
This applies to cases when relatives have recently learned about drug addiction and have started to act. If you have tolerated a drug addict for many years and knew about his use, this point should not be followed, because it will be an absurd farce. And it will become a subject of manipulation for the drug addict, he will consider you a fool.
- Work together with the patient in lessons. And point out to him the moments where the addict lies. Expose his self-deception. Fully comply with the rules for home isolation.
- Monitor the addict for 3 years after treatment. Do drug tests, do not trust him at his word. Stop supporting him and demand that he contribute to the family budget.
Demand that he pay off the debt for feeding him during home isolation, as soon as he returns to work. This will develop responsibility in him, plus he will not have extra money for a dose.
- Maintain skepticism and do not praise on credit. To any empty boasting say: do not say “hop” until you jump over. We remember what boasting and complacency brought you to!
If you do all this, you can be sure that the treatment will help.
And once again we remind you: the method is not designed to be done partially. Our texts are not magic and do not expect the book to have the same effect as Allan Carr’s book if you neglect other actions.
Yes, texts help. But they give the initial push. The desire to be sober. But this is very little, believe me. If everything were so simple, then there would be no drug addiction! After all, you all understand that a drug addict decides to quit three times a week. What’s the point?
This disease is strong and to overcome it, you will have to act in a complex manner. And for a long time!
Consequences of Incorrect Treatment for Drug Addicts and Their Relatives
As you have already understood from the previous chapters, it is impossible to cure a drug addict if his environment interferes with therapy. That is, you should always start with relatives. Until they are ready to work together, it is better not to start. There will be a relapse anyway.
What is a relapse in treatment? Why is it dangerous?
We will not discuss here that an active drug addict is a virus that “infects” many people around with drug addiction. And breeds the same drug addicts as lice.
Although, why not? By and large, a conscientious citizen of the state must understand a simple thing: the more workers there are in his country, the more income the treasury receives from taxes. And the richer the population lives.
Simple mathematics, in fact. After all, the main income of the state is the human resource. And they make the main income. No gas, no resources can compare with the people’s contribution to the economy.
Don’t believe me? Look at the country’s economic reports and you’ll understand that you yourself are the blacksmith of the economy.
But that’s one thing. Not everyone wants to think about the economic perspective. Then let’s approach it from another angle.
Open the news on the Internet. Daily accidents on the road, daily robberies, murders. Doesn’t that scare you? Have you ever thought that one day you could be the victim of a crime? Or your beloved grandson?
And if we consider that drug addiction among the population is increasing exponentially, then this option will soon threaten each of us. There are not just many drug addicts, but too many.
But again, not everyone wants to take it.
Then there remains one argument. The one that is closer to the point. Look, what a bad thing is coming out…
Every drug addict always has one thought in his head: why should I quit if there are no former drug addicts? This is a popular, beloved by all attitude.
Although it has no basis. We all saw and know that there are a lot of drug addicts in the world who have quit forever.
Nevertheless, it is popular. And this is what almost everyone will answer when you start a conversation about drug addiction treatment.
So, here is what it all comes down to. Each unsuccessful episode of treatment proves to the addict the validity of this approach. He believes in it more and more. Sincerely believes.
And the more he believes in his incurability, the less chance of a successful result next time.
Drug addiction is just a disease of thinking! It is a disease of memory, roughly speaking.
Therefore, you need to approach drug addiction treatment with the utmost seriousness. Don’t rush or fuss. Don’t think that it’s better to do it anyhow than not at all.
If you have already started treating the addict’s head, then you need to throw all your efforts into it. And strictly follow the recommendations.
Every right word and action of yours is a medicine. And the wrong one is an antidote to the medicine.
We treat the head. Thinking. And we, like sappers, have no right to make a mistake.
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